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Is the “eight-year itch” real?

On Behalf of | Sep 21, 2023 | Divorce |

You may have heard that many Oklahoma couples become restless in their relationships around the eight-year mark. Studies do show that this happens. The average length of a first marriage is eight years with the actual restlessness occurring around the seven-year mark. This phenomenon occurs because humans go through seven-year patterns of their needs changing. You may enter a new stage of life, desire change or improve yourself. Conflict usually happens when one partner improves and the other stays the same. Discord also frequently occurs when the desires of each person in the relationship fall too far apart.

Is there any hope to have a long-lasting marriage?

You may feel disheartened to learn that the eight-year itch is real. However, that doesn’t mean it’s not possible to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime. If both partners stay committed to learning and working together to make the relationship work, then they’ll probably overcome each “eight-year itch” without a divorce.

Seven-year blocks of adult development

Humans usually go through seven years of stability, then two to three years of a transition period. It’s common to feel restless or unhappy with an aspect of your life at the end of seven years. You may feel something inside of you that just wants more or something different. Maybe you want to move to a new state. A career change may be what’s tugging at your heart. Perhaps, you want to reconnect with family, or you decide it’s time to stop talking to family members who bring you down.

A relationship is the beginning

When you get into a relationship, you and your partner need something from the other. You had the need to feel loved and cared for. If you two are able to find a structure and routine that works for you, then your relationship lasts for the long-term. Near the end of the stability period, the old routine may no longer work. You may want to revisit your life plan together to renegotiate a structure that both of you are happy with based on your changing needs.

Beginning to feel restless after several years is normal. Major life events often require tweaks to your routine. However, this doesn’t mean that you need to get a divorce. It’s possible to work through these periods together as a couple and start a new stability cycle where both of you are happy.