Research shows that divorce often has a devastating impact on Oklahoma children and that these effects aren’t limited to just young kids. Even children who are living away from home at college can find the path forward from divorce extremely difficult.
Caught in the middle
One of the biggest challenges for adult children is feeling like they have to take sides. Even something has simple as deciding where to live during spring break can be traumatizing. Parents should do everything they can to eliminate this burden. Experts recommend confronting the issue head on. Let the child know that the decision to stay in one household or the other is not a betrayal. Also, you can make it feel less like a betrayal by ensuring that the child gets to spend equal time with both parents.
Financial worries
College students worry about finances a lot. This is true even if you and your ex-spouse are paying for everything. The end of a marriage feels like chaos to a young person already dealing with the uncertainty that lies ahead. Talking about money can be difficult, but it’s important to provide your child whatever peace of mind you can. Don’t lie to them, but if you can give them confidence in your financial position and their ability to continue their schooling, you should do so as early in the process as possible.
Steer your child in the right direction
It’s also important to minimize the divorce as a distraction. Help your child to remain focused on what’s essential to their path forward, such as their academics and personal and social development. This will undoubtedly be easier with some children than others. If you have a child that deals with anxiety or depression, your divorce is likely to heighten those issues. Take care not to use your child as a sounding board. Experts also suggest encouraging your child to see a therapist on campus.
Children may feel the effects of divorce no matter their age or position in life. Recognizing this is often the first step in helping adult children come to peace with your decision.